Haikus by Gary
some days, we haiku
other days, it slips my mind
don't let it slip yours
In the nick of time
what does that mean, and who's Nick?
Thanks wise time-bender
running out the door
overslept and then hit snooze
why am i tired?
This stupid website.
When I don't post, I hear it.
but when I do post...
open bag, grind beans
water heat grounds make coffee
could I live without?
I have to get up
morning for me is early
I need one less job
three in just one day?
what the heck is going on?
mere coincidence?
It will be okay.
Just keep your head down for now.
Eventually.
Can you see me now?
Is my life a TV show?
It's the Truman Show
I'm Back, Hiatus
great haikus from other folks
No haikus from me
My head stopped hurting.
The pollen must have settled.
stupid allergies
Just nine more minutes
With the touch of a button
A nice round number
I can do better
I just need more time to sleep
Refreshed, I'll excel
C'mon, please just work
it's gremlins in the system
or net 2.0
It doesn't bode well.
Working with a set deadline.
That might be reset.
I need five more hours.
to make my day long enough.
free time is a myth
up hill and down hill.
trail running can't be beat.
flat tire! I was wrong.
Look! Thirteen Artists.
is this website a success?
Haiku one nine nine.
Mexican food twice!
too much, what was I thinking.
I am a bean bomb
First thing you notice.
Customer service is dead.
then, maybe the smell.
my feet are freezing.
but my legs are really warm.
socks and underpants?
I am a junkie.
Could not live without the net.
maybe I need help
It must be windows.
at least three crashes per day.
time to clean install.
I thought I was free.
Count motorcycle helmets.
Of course, from China
one way means one way.
dumb city planner to blame.
I need bigger signs
Long sleeves are warm right?
So why do my teeth chatter?
Do I need teeth sleeves?
fake log, fake popping
real warmth from wood chips and wax
plus! cleans my chimney
This year has been tough
Thirty days until reset
Boot into next year!
Remember CD's?
Three burns equals two coasters.
...and crappy music
Consumerism?
Gadgets, Gizmos, and Gimmicks.
I'm a pimp today.
Chilly (for this state).
Holiday smells in the air.
great time for a move!
Oh no! car won't start
I tried jumping it, no luck
a new battery?
Look at all my junk.
when did I last use this stuff?
to the trash it goes.
civic - green machine
electric and gas motor
what makes the voltage?
I'd just like to know
It's the waiting that is hard
What time do I work?
hash browns are all grease.
got anything healthier?
yes, try the fruit cup.
Portable data
It's just a great idea
with no real roadmap
life without the net
would be like life without you
I'd be lost and dumb
Is it the starter?
maybe the power cables.
hard to sell dead car!
waffle, syrup, check!
butter, orange juice, coffee, check!
late for work again
wake up, grind some beans
percolate, drip, coffee cup
it's my caffeine fix.
I needed that clip
but, I deleted that clip
I didn't backup
babies can be cute
monkeys can also be cute
I don't want either
cable tv sucks
three billion channels, but still
nothing worth watching
old stretchy undies
stinky pants gone past their prime
must be laundry day
same place grandpa died
same doctors, same nursing staff
the patient has changed
No one works Mondays
Open spreadsheet, take a nap
pretend to labor
you jerks have no class
I'm still within warranty
it should cover fire
no haiku Thursday
so...better late than never
or just, not at all
please leave me alone
I have things to think about
plus it stinks in here
red glowing numbers
make me feel like a failure
when I hit the snooze
Life is all 'bout change
take risks, scare yourself, breathe deep
live like you matter
Boats need gas to run
unless they come with a sail,
oarlocks or paddles
time for the recharge
laptops die when you need them
free work avoidance
UVA and B
you deeply burn and scar me
all for just a tan
it is just a phone
will it make me beautiful?
not this ugly mug.
Paris has gone free
watch Larry King for details
Justice prevailed
big italian food
filling, cheesy, garlicy
its time for a nap
my socks smell awful
odor eaters can't combat
the vileness of feet
why do I answer
when I am brushing my teeth
I pay for voicemail
low pressure system
it's time to evacuate
hurricane party!
I need my tivo
commercials? what commercials?
I miss live TV
earbuds jammed real deep
keep on rocking my brain cells
keep people away
oh ale of the gods
urine of my fav'rite horse
why must you tempt me?
rotten stray children
I speak like a grey old man
"get off my damn lawn"
needles in the lot
drunk greek men yelling at me
punch-in, sell, punch-out
your penis too small?
add girth, length, satisfaction
I hate my email
haikus are dumb art
they don't have to rhyme or flow
every jerk writes them
I hate buddy lists
they make me feel like a punk
no one talks to me
white hair and eyebrows
who could be driving that car?
somebody's grandma
charge my battery
laptop roasting my jewels
no children this month
I go to inbox
does anyone out there care?
nothing but more spam
my chicken biscuit
is too small for my large gut
I think I need more
a bump in the night
something smells fishy in here
it's just broken wind
the coconut rum
has given me painful gas
I'm not Jamaican
wake up before dawn
get ready to work the job
a means to an end
my eyes are water
the onion smell causes burn
gary has stinky gas
hold up my drink please
protect my carpet from harm
get deposit back
apple computer
you taunt me with tech toys
my wallet will cry
stupid hot jock itch
the burning cannnot be stopped
my crotch is on fire
I drank too many
alright wife, it's time for bed
who are you again
my lips hurt real bad
I'll do whatever I want
get your own tots, gosh
chubby little cat
hanging out like a meat loaf
later he'll warm feet